Thursday, April 20, 2006


Dawn just posted a link to "The Golden Link Foundation", a site that claims it will offer an expectant mother up to 10K as a post-adoption "gift" for placing her baby in an adoption plan through one of the four adoption agencies profiled on their website. The gist of this foundation's mission is put forth as to encourage women not to abort and instead choose adoption.

Ugh. Definitely unethical, and raised my hackles, so I went over to the site and read through the content.

Oddly, all 4 of the "approved adoption agencies" had similar text and linked back to the Golden Link Foundation's website.

So, I did some digging through 'whois' and found that all the sites linked on Golden Link's website (the approved adoption agencies and Golden Link's site) are all registered under the name Seymour Kurtz. I then googled "Seymour Kurtz" and found this:

This man is out to make money by laundering babies through his "agencies". He has a thrity year history of baby brokering. Also, he states that the Golden Link Foundation is a IRS listed charity and, after checking it out, it *is*. So not okay. ARGH.

Please spread the word. SCARY.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

adoption terms that annoy me..

"birthmother" or "potential birthmother" -- when used to refer to a woman who is pregnant and considering making an adoption plan for her child. She's not a birthmother until she has given birth, remade her adoption decision, and relinquished her parental rights. Until then: she's an "expectant mother" or just plain "mother".

"our (or my) birthmother" -- S. is my SON'S birthmother. She's not MY birthmother. Nor is she J's birthmother.

"gift" -- a child is a child, not a gift. While yes, raising children *is* a gift, placing a child for adoption is NOT "gifting" a couple with that child.

"changed her mind" -- Technically maybe. But here's the rub. These babies *aren't* ours until their first parents decide definitively that they can't/aren't going to parent them. Until them, they are not remotely ours, no matter HOW attached (and trust me, I get it) we get to the idea of them being ours. Using terms like those above does NO ONE any favors. They disparage birthparents/expectant parents and they allow too much entitlement for Pap's.

... Oh.. two other first mom related terms I see online hopeful adoptive parents use that annoy me to no end: "birthmommy" and "special angel". If I were an expectant mom looking over profiles using these terms, I wouldn't even get past the greeting. Ugh. Let' not even talk about the woman in my adoption seminar who refused to use the word "mother" to refer to her child's first mom in any context. She wanted to use "birth LADY" when talking to her child -- because "After all -- *I'm* the mother, the one who'll be *raising* the child." (gag. vomit. collapse.)